Learning to Live again
by NeedForSpeed
Summary: Edwards wife has died and he is learning to live again. Based off the Garth Brooks song, Learning to Live Again


Come on Edward you can do this. Looking in the mirror at my self I didn't see how I could. Alice said Jasper and her would be by at 6 to pick me up. I can't believe I let her talk me into going out with them. Alice is bringing her friend. She said she knows what I'm going through and it might be nice to talk to her. Its only been 8 months since Tanya died. I know I should get back out there, I mean I'm only 28 I know I don't want to be along forever but it hurts to even think of it right now.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

"Come on, man up, its not like you are marring the girl" I can feel my heart beating through my chest and my hands are gripping the sink. I try to take deep breaths in and out. My phone beeps on the counter next to me.

_Don't shave_

_Why?_ I reply to Alice's text

_You are prob nervous and I don't want you to cut your self like last time_

I have to laugh out loud at that. Ya Rose set me up with a girl last month and I cut my self like 5 times. Man I can't remember the last time that had happened. Right no shave. Scruff it is. I glance down at my watch and notice its almost 6. Man I've been up here longer than I thought.

"OK, Edward, smile and don't let on how miserable you are" I smile at my self and I can tell it's fake.

DING DING

Ok here goes nothing.

We are at a nice little place. Alice's friend seems nice and she trys to involve me in conversation, she really does. Alice leans over to whisper in my ear.

"You are doing great" All I can do is nod and smile and wish I felt great. I feel like crap but that is not fair to Alice's friend. I try to pay attention. She looks over at me and smiles and I notice her for the first time.

Wow she has a great smile, its lights up her whole face. She is beautiful really. A new song starts and she leans over to me and lightly touches my arm.

"Would you like to dance with me?"

I stand and take her hand in mine and move to a little area they have. I place my hand on her waist and I remember I can't remember her name and in that instant I really want to know. She feels good against me. She leans her head on my chest and man she smells good. It's been a long time since I have held someone and I really like this. We dance in our little bubble not really paying attention to the people around us. I like this. Her hand is playing in the hair at the base of my neck and I close my eyes and just enjoy her touches. I didn't ever think I could feel like this again, and I feel hope for the first time since Tanya got sick.

We drop off Alice's friend and Alice tells me to walk her up but I was already getting out of the car.

I walk her to her front door and kiss her cheek. I can feel her blush on my lips.

"I had a great time tonight" I whisper to her under her porch light. She looks down and smiles and my heart is beating so hard.

"Me too Edward"

"Can I call you? Maybe see you again?" I ask nervously

"Ya I would like that a lot. Alice has my number" I just nod and wait for her to go inside before going back to the car.

"Well?" Is all Alice says while I can see Jasper smile in the rear view mirror.

"She said I can call her and to get her number from you" Alice beams and hands me a piece of paper. I open it.

Bella Swan

555-765-8891

Bella beautiful.

That night in bed I wish for a new future.

3 Years later

It look Bella and me a while but it was worth it all. I can't believe that love like this for meant for me once let alone twice. I found out in our talks that Bella's fiancé had been killed suddenly by a drunk driver on the way to their rehearsal dinner.

Bella helped me heal and taught me to love again. I'll always love Tanya and she will always love Jake, but the love we feel for each other is more intense than anything I have ever experienced.

I remember the first time we made love. We had been dating for 6 months and I was ready to give myself fully to her. We had just gotten home from dinner and we were at my house. She was on my lap and was kissing down my neck and I had my eyes closed, just enjoying her mouth on me. I realized I only had thoughts of Bella that is when I knew. My grip on her hips tightened and I stood up slowly and she slid off my body and looked at me with confusion, I just grabbed her hand and led her down the hall way to my bedroom. She finally realized what we were doing and she smiled bashfully. She had told me when we started dating that she didn't think we should have sex until I could give myself to her.

She attacked me as soon as the lights came on and her kisses were turning me on more than I can ever remember being. Our hands were yanking and pulling at each others clothes and my mouth followed the new exposed skin. She was moaning and pulling my hair and I knew my grip on her body must be bruising her perfect skin, but in the moment nothing mattered but the sounds coming from her mouth. I needed her and needed her now.

We fell on the bed and she pushed my to my back. She climbed on top of me and started kissing down my chest when I felt her guide me to her. I let out an embarrassingly loud moan as she slipped down me. I gripped her hips tightly to me. She was moaning with her eyes closed and head tipped back. I could feel her hair brush the legs behind her and seeing her move on top of me was the most beautiful site ever. I loosened my grip and started thrusting my hips up to her and my hands started roaming her body. I moved one hand up to caress her breast and my thumb brushes her nipple while my other hand moved down to where we were connected. My thumb found her clit which caused her to clench around me.

Her hands were on my chest and I needed to kiss her. My hands pulled her to me and I sat up. Our lips met, and I held her to me, I needed her close. Our movements slowed but they turned more intense. By this point we weren't really kissing anymore just sharing each others breath. Our eyes were locked and I knew then I wanted to spend every waking moment with this woman.

" I'm going to marry you someday" She gasped into my mouth and smiled and then she let out a long moan and threw her head back as I felt her clench around me and all I could do was bury my head in her should and groan. The feeling of letting go was so intense I couldn't help but bit down on her shoulder. I could feel her shudder again and then go limp against me. I laid back with her in my arms and rolled us to the side.

" Did you mean what you said?" She asked quietly

" I did, I love you so much Bella, I can't wait to start our life together." I told her

" I love you too Edward"

I'm brought out of my memory by a little giggle and then a screech. A smile automatically formed on my lips as I heard my wife and daughter playing.

It was painful at first learning to live again but I'm so glad I did because I can't imagine my life without my girls in it.


End file.
